Welcome back again to Not me! Monday - where those of us who ARE perfect can brag about the embarrassing things we did NOT do. This blog carnival was set up by MckMama - go check her out when you're done here. Now, on with the show!
1. On Monday: I did not feed my children leftover pizza and birthday cake for breakfast. That would be very irresponsible of a mother, and besides I only feed my children organically grown, vegan-approved, health food.
2. Tuesday: I did not feed my children pizza for breakfast again, nor did they have it for lunch AND dinner as well. I mean seriously, what kind of mother feeds her kids pizza for 3 meals in a row? I also did not wonder if so much cheese would constipate them long enough to drive from Iowa to Kansas...
3. While packing up both bathrooms I did not discover that my husband had no less than 9 (count 'em N-I-N-E) deodorants in his possession. It is not true that 6 of those were opened or that 3 ended up in the trash.
4. Since we're in the bathroom I might as well confess that I did not give Chad an unexpected surprise, when he found an old pregnancy test in the trash. I did not laugh at him when he asked "Um... Is there something you need to tell me?". "Yes, there is. [...dramatic pause...] I never clean out the cabinets."
5. Finally, I did not smack my sweet husband upside the head in an attempt to rescue him from a mosquito. Consequently I did not have to pick bug guts from his hair and scalp. Gross.
2. Tuesday: I did not feed my children pizza for breakfast again, nor did they have it for lunch AND dinner as well. I mean seriously, what kind of mother feeds her kids pizza for 3 meals in a row? I also did not wonder if so much cheese would constipate them long enough to drive from Iowa to Kansas...
3. While packing up both bathrooms I did not discover that my husband had no less than 9 (count 'em N-I-N-E) deodorants in his possession. It is not true that 6 of those were opened or that 3 ended up in the trash.
4. Since we're in the bathroom I might as well confess that I did not give Chad an unexpected surprise, when he found an old pregnancy test in the trash. I did not laugh at him when he asked "Um... Is there something you need to tell me?". "Yes, there is. [...dramatic pause...] I never clean out the cabinets."
5. Finally, I did not smack my sweet husband upside the head in an attempt to rescue him from a mosquito. Consequently I did not have to pick bug guts from his hair and scalp. Gross.
Okay - your turn! What have you not done??
3 comments:
I did not confiscate a block of wood with a pointy end (his sword)from my son so that he would not hurt himself on our family walk. I did not accidently let go of this block of wood while pointing in the direction of our son and cause a break in the skin and bruise him. I would feel horrible if i would be a careless mother like that!
He did NOT look at me in horror and surprise wondering why in the world his sweet mommy would do such a thing. No, NOT me! I am not.. I repeat NOT a careless mother!
love #4,hilarious!
love your not me's I still have 2 positives in my cabinet...gross as it is, i can't part with them
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